frustration

Since June 28 this year we have been surfing the edge. I have been locked up in my Neosteel Arch and access to my penis has been very limited. We practice what you might call enforced permanent tease and denial. That is, she keeps me locked up and only releases me when she so desire, usually for some highly frustrating tease and denial. The normal outcome of that is that she gets at least one massive orgasm, while I am brought close to the edge several times and then being denied.

She has perfected her technique to the extent that she usually stops just before I tell her to be careful not to take me over the edge. Lately she has teased me for some ten to twenty minutes before she has me penetrating her while she brings herself to a mind-blowing orgasm with her hand or a magic wand.

It is a fine balance, and when she finally tenses all her muscles in her body and her heavy breathing turns into a long moan of pleasure, I have usually had to withdraw, stop and calm down several times not to pass the point of no return. I am usually rock hard and the veins on my shaft full to the limit of bursting. It is very pleasurable and I know she absolutely loves how rock hard I remain inside of her as she rides the waves of her orgasm. Being so horny and longing for that heavenly squirt feels amazingly good. I also know that my orgasm would be such a short reward in comparison to all that we have built over the hundred something days we have been playing this game.

Last Friday she played me again. We have gotten really good at it. She was approaching her orgasm and so was I. I withdrew from her to calm down, but it must have been one of a hundredth second too late. I did all in my powers to stay calm and let the cool air and the absence of touch do its work. But to my devastation I felt the semen coming. I tried to blank out all emotions, plus the muscle tonus in my penis to get it to fade away and die out. This was the most unsatisfying ruined ejaculation of a lifetime. There was not enough stimulation to get that hard and so enjoyable squirt. Instead it was a slow dribble that left me utterly unsatisfied. 106 days in sexual frustration, and now this…

It has now been 111 days since we started this game. She has said that it will be at least 6 months until she allows me to orgasm. She also told me that this ejaculation is to be counted as an orgasm, as there was semen. I also got the typical male post ejaculation dip. i.e. almost falling asleep immediately afterwards. I really had to pull myself together to be able to bring her to her climax. She noted and was not happy with that at all. She was however happy to hear that my ejaculation was so dissatisfying, and that if anything left me more frustrated than before. I am still in the dark if this resets the clock to zero, or if it sill means we done 111 days of the 184 + something remaining? At the moment I am too frustrated and down to even think about that.

What I have experienced after the most unsatisfying ejaculation in my life is a sort of depression. I don’t really feel like locking up, and if she had not insisted I am sure that the whole thing would have been put to rest. Has anyone else experienced this? How long does it take to pass? At the moment I see more drawbacks than pleasure in living the dream. I know deep within that I love it and crave it, but somehow I can’t seem to find the spark that was there before. The number one advantage for her has been my eagerness to please her. Not even that is there now. I just feel very low in sexual energy right now.

I will however stay with it too see what happens.

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